Box Theory

Box Theory


Inside the box is our capacity to do the things we need and want to do. The volume of our box is a measure of the amount of spiritual and emotional fuel or energy we have...the smaller our box, the less energy we have. Without energy we tire quicker and stress easier. Our capacity to deal with things becomes diminished, because the capacity of our box is small.

People with a small box capacity try, and struggle to keep control over and manage the things inside of their box. They also sometimes will exert their need to control to pull in a few of the things that are outside their box that they really want. But they have to downsize it to fit into the smaller capacity of their box. One example of this would be too offer a gift to someone who thinks it is "too much". They won't freely accept that gift, but would accept something they consider to be less "extravagant". Their box was too small for the other gift to fit into.

In essence, by taking such an action to satisfy this control need, that person negates a true blessing which by definition exceeds the boundaries of a person's box. The long term outcome is that the person with the small box always settles for less. Usually less than what they really deserve. That person also negates the opportunity to expand their own box.

As with any box, there are borders. A person with a small box has the borders of "I Can't.", "I Never.", "I Don't.", "I Won't Ever." or a host of other negative self-talk mantras that keep us trapped and keep our box from growing. This self-talk reinforces the rules we have for our lives. This self-talk restates the reasons we have for doing less or not doing things in our lives. This self-talk also parrots the excuses we use to deceive ourselves about our own laziness when we refuse to move forward in life.

These excuses usually present themselves as "Too far.", "Too fast.", "Too high.", "Too much.", "Too late.", "Too soon.", "Too real.", "Too live.", "Too tired.", "Too sick.", or any statement that allows you to stay where you are and not move forward. This is what keeps us stuck where we are, stagnant, repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

The results of such a mindset are that you don't try at all. Your excuse relieves you of the need to act on any initiative. Your excuse justifies you when you don't try hard at anything you might do. 'Just enough to get by' becomes 'good enough' for you. Your excuse relieves you of any sense of responsibility or duty to continue something to the finish. Finally, your excuse will keep you from seeing yourself at your best, let alone achieving it.

Determine your box. Listen to what you say to yourself whenever you are faced with a challenge or simply something new. If your hear yourself shooting down new ideas automatically, you are keeping your box is too small. If you are quick to come up with a host of reasons why something can't or won't work, you are keeping your box too small. Just listen to yourself talk to yourself about yourself.

So, what do you do if you discover your box is too small or is shrinking or is simply not flexible enough? One remedy is to remove something from the box. Certainly, this will give you more space to work with, but it doesn't really help in the long term because there is always something else to come along to replace what was taken away. Another remedy is to enlarge your box. Each option will create more box capacity to do more things, but the latter will teach you to increase your spiritual and emotional energy capacity which will allow you to do those things.

Just as limiting self-talk keeps our box small, shrinking and rigid, positive self-talk makes the borders of our box more pliable and flexible thus expandable. This expandable box represents our own capacity to grow, proceed and excel in our lives. Positive self-talk increases our spiritual and emotional energy, which allows us to do more things and get more things done.

Remember, change is the only consistent thing in the universe! If you are not changing, then you are certainly not growing. And when you are not growing you are just stuck. And for some, that feeling of being stuck is quite palpable. You can start to change your box by changing your "I can't." to "I can!"; by changing your "I never." to "I will be willing!"; by changing your "I don't." to "I do!" and by changing your "I won't ever." to "I will give it a try!"

As you start to change your self-talk from negative to positive, a positive momentum will begin to build in your life. Your view of yourself will improve, your perspective on life will become brighter, your outlook will become more positive and even your countenance will take on a glow to replace the gloom that was there before. It is magic, but not magic that happens overnight. You can start this process of change by taking a moment of each day to affirm positive things about yourself to yourself. This is important because most negative people feel most negative about themselves. You can imagine, if you don't like yourself you certainly won't believe in yourself or your abilities. It doesn't matter if it is simply one thing to start with, say something positive to yourself to start each day. It is like a muscle. The more you use this exercise the better you will get at it and the more positive attributes about yourself you will uncover.

So get outside of the confines of your box. Think positive! Believe positive! Speak positive! Be positive! Expand and grow!

Commentary by
@ewjjr
http://ewjtoday.blogspot.com


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